TESTING, 1 2 3, TESTINGGGGG--

[travelsized]

[So Mushu's pretty down today, his big ol' smile turned upside down into a frown. You know why? 'Cause he's stuck in a stupid cage, that's why, and now he's gonna be sold to some crazy guy who doesn't even know what a dragon is.

Man, life really sucks. Maybe if he gets lucky, the guy or girl or whoever'll go for one of the dumb chickens instead. (No, Mushu, they're cockatiels, not chickens.)]

Comments

[torcher]

[Johnny's only in the pet shop because a couple of the kids were begging him to let them keep a rat they'd found in the tunnels. And could he really say no? Those kids had like, nothing going for them.]

[The least Johnny could do was let them have a pet sewer rat.]

[So he's browsing for rat food and stuff when he sees the weird lizard on display and decides to take a closer look.] Huh. It's even got a mustache.

[travelsized]

[So far, so good. No obnoxious giant people comin' over t' poke him, no annoying little bugs stickin' their annoying little tongues out him, no--

Ohhh, never mind.

Mushu's already pretty crabby as is, but the mustache comment is not helping on bit.]

Excuse you? Do these whiskers look like a mustache t' you? You even know what they're for?

[torcher]

[No freakin' way!!] --What?

[And then just presses his face closer to the cage.]

There's a mic in there, right? Someone's playing a joke on me.

[travelsized]

[Oh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. You have got so much left to learn.

Like how pissed this little dragon's gonna be at you at the end of the day.]

I don't know what the heck a 'mike' is - sounds like some sorta stupid piece of furniture - but I'm not seein' anything funny about this whole thing.

Do you even know what I am?

[torcher]

[He pisses off lots of people/things, he's used to it.]

Wow, uh. You really are talking. [And then drops his voice to a whisper at the question.] An alien? 'Cos I've met a few before and trust me, dude, I can help you out of there.

[Because clearly the store owners picked this little guy up without knowing what it was.]

1/2

[travelsized]

[.....................................................]

2/2

[travelsized]

[What kind of idiot is he dealing with today SERIOUSLY?]

Who you callin' an alien?! I'm a dragon! See this tongue? [slinks out his tongue] You see these claws? [flicks one in Johnny's FACE]

I am a dragon. You got that stuck in yo' brain yet, little boy?

[torcher]

Okay, sure. But there aren't any dragons here, so maybe you came from--I don't know. Another universe?

[Look at him putting his Fantastic Four knowledge to use again.]

[travelsized]

[Mushu don't care about no Fanstastic Four. Maybe the Dumb As Bricks Four.]

No dra-- [SPEECHLESS.] What kinda people are you, gettin' rid of the world's greatest creature like that!

[He is totally shaking his fist at you, by the way and that is most definitely NOT a smile on his face.]

[torcher]

[Hey, they had a person kind of made out of bricks! And then he got better.]

They never existed in the first place. I don't think, at least. [Okay, coast is clear. Hey, Mushu, ever see a guy's hand on fire?] So do you want me to bail you outta there or what?

[travelsized]

[No he has not and it is absolutely terrifying.

So terrifying that he is going to scream like a girl (dragon) and slither to the other side of the cage.]

You--man, you on fire!

[What are you?!]

[torcher]

Yeah, it's kind of a thing I do. Just call me your hero.

We're making a break for it as soon as it's safe. Don't run off, alright? They'll probably just catch you again. [And then he will check that no one's around one more time before melting off a good chunk of the cage.]

[travelsized]

[Wow, okay, this is not happening. He's the one who's supposed to go around and save people and teach people - like Mulan - how to be a hero, not the other way around.

This is almost embarrassing.

Although. He's gotta give the kid credit, that display is pretty freakin' impressive.]

You--Man, who are you? [Apart from being a weird hero dude. There is so much suspicious claring.] You some kinda weird-shaped guardian or somethin'?

[torcher]

I'm Johnny. [Laying low with the identity since he's kind of wanted by the government.] And we're leaving right now.

[Extends a hand like HURRY UP, HOP ON.]

I know a safe place. Uh--You don't eat rats, do you?

[travelsized]

Man, you really don't know squat 'bout dragons, do you? Rats are foul.

[SIGH but okay, slithering up Johnny's arm and down his back until he pops up his head next to Johnny's neck.]

So whatta we do now? They're sure t' notice me missin'.

[torcher]

Don't sweat it. They're not gonna find us where we're going.

[And then he reaches back to throw his hood over his head.] Take cover and hold tight. Ride'll be a little bumpy.

[travelsized]

[Whoa whoa, hold on--]

Ride? What ride? What kinda place are we--hellooo?